whatawaytoburn: (Default)
Things of note:
- I am back from New York.
- There is a new kitten in the house.
- Morgan will be here in less than a week.
- My mother has been tolerable.
- She also has an opportunity to move to Costa Rica for a year (possibly two) and wants me to come with her.
- I am...still not sure how I feel about that.
- I am nesting in Gin's personal playlist for no real reason. I'm iffy on a lot of her music and yet here I am. *shrug.
- I bought a book of old folk music to play around with last night. I am looking forward to having that to play with.
- I have no plans for today except maybe sleep and try and take care of my tags.
- If I may steal from Seanan McGuire, zombies are love.
whatawaytoburn: ([Words] Won't sleep for days)
So, I am still alive, in case anyone was wondering. I know I've been utter rubbish at posting/commenting but I have been reading, I swear.

I'm in New York and have been for the past few weeks now. I leave Next Saturday which is depressing but the following Thursday, I get Morgan until the next Tuesday, so it could be much worse.

I don't have pictures or anything because I forgot to bring my camera but I've seen wildlife! Certainly more than one sees in Florida anyway. Or at least more than I see which admittedly isn't saying much.

Writi9ng is...coming along. I've written for [community profile] kink_bingo and I only have one more square left. If I'm really lucky, I'll hit it before I leave for home, if not it's no big deal.

Beyond that, there've been scattered handfuls of writing here and there, both fandom and original which has been nice.

I saw Avengers in theaters a couple Fridays ago which was AWESOME! There is so much love in my heart for that movie, I don't even know WHY. It is brilliant times though. I still need to properly watch all the movies leading UP to Avengers but I look forward to doing it.

(For those of you who will understand this: The little one is stoked.)

And uhm....I think there are other things I've meant to say but they've all gone out of my head. *sigh* Hopefully this will get me back in the swing of commenting/posting on a regular basis and, if not, at least posting enough to let people know I am alive.
whatawaytoburn: ([Writing] Non functional)
So, I have ben struggling a lot the past few days. I don't know why, I'm not sure if it's my meds or what but I've not managed to get out an entry or any sort of writing, despite really wanting to do both.

I am counting down the days until I leave, I really am. My mother is...not insufferable at the moment but she makes me amazingly uncomfortable with some of her comments sometimes.

I'm itching to draw again, which I think I might do o9n and off today.

My sleep schedule is still off but I don't care. I slept pretty much the entire day yesterday, waking up and not really getting out of bed until 9 PM and then going back to sleep at 11. I know, I know it's depression but nrrrg.

I'm going to try and do the writing meme after this post, or possibly later today, I'm not usre yet. The point is, I will try.

I know i have things to say, my brain is just not giving them to me. That's how life has been lately, having the desire for words and not quite having the energy for them.

I'm going to the psych doctor at 1 though, so y'know, I'll bring it up to her and we'll talk and it will be....something.

Maybe I will wander onto Tumblr and try and write a little off of there. I don't know.

I'm just out of fsorts today, don't mind me.
whatawaytoburn: ([Misc] In the night)
I am doing better than I was this morning. A few more hours of sleep helped out a lot on that end. I'm still....not very happy with my situation but yeah. I don't know. We will see.

Morgan is coming over tomorrow, so I expect that will make things better. If we're lucky, I am going to be spending a lot of time with them this next couple of weeks and then, I'll be off to New York in July and that will...yes. Save me a lot of stress for at least a month.

Hoping to get some writing done today, I'm not sure it's going to happen but I can be an optimist.

I'm also feeling kind of chatty right now, I don't know why, so if you've ever wanted to poke me for any reason or to just say hi, my AIM is livelifeinflame and my skype is whatawaytoburn. I have other messenger systems too, if you'd like to poke me through those but those are the main two I use.
whatawaytoburn: ([Newsflesh]  Rise up while you can)
1) Not awake yet. I went sleep and I can't get it because A) took my Prozac already and that fucks up my sleep now that I am on more and B) I just can't sleep. I've been awake for an hour.

2) I've been rubbish at commenting, both here and on other people's journals. I'm sorry for that. As you guys can guess, it's been a rough ride this last month or so, but I am working on it.

3) I'm kind of sucking at [community profile] letthesummerin even though I have three months to do what I want and part of the reason it's three months long is so that there is not nearly as much pressure on me to produce something every day. I just....Yeah. I don't know.

4) I am trying to get active in [community profile] beyondtherift again. I think I am going to manage it this time which is exciting.

5) I need to get back to my other blog at some point. And drawing. And other things, I just...brain. My brain has sucked so very hard that it's difficult to do anything.

6) Still reading Blackout by Mira Grant with Morgan. We're having a hard time getting through it because we flail so hard. Still though, we're getting through it and it's been really fun to read along with someone/be read to by another person rather than an audiobook.

7) Speaking of Morgan, I will get them next week. *spins* This is not a bad thing, as I kind of need them right now. I...yeah. Having them will be good and seeing them before I take off to New York will be even better.

8) Have an appointment with my therapist for 1:30 on Tuesday and an appointment with the psychiatrist on Thursday at an unknown time. I think I am going to tell the latter that the pills are making me batshit i8nsane and that I am crashing harder and more frequently than I have in a while.

9) Acquired some games last night. I really want to play Amnesia but it doesn't like Anthea. I enjoy Limbo though and Vincent is trying to get me to play Bastion really, really hard. It's kind of amusing. I will probably cave in at some point today to try and entertain myself for a few hours and give myself something to do.

10) Caffeine is love.
whatawaytoburn: ([Writing]  At work)
Just letting people know I am still alive, despite having dropped off the face of the Earth for a week. Morgan was here and I am prone to doing such things when I get them.

Things will return to their normal times shortly, I'm just trying to feel my way around having the room to myself again and all of that stuff. Hopefully there will be writing tonight but we will see. At the very least, i have the house to myself, so that is promising.

Did I miss anything good while I was away? Tell me all the interesting things that have happened to you this week.
whatawaytoburn: ([Words] Won't sleep for days)
- My brain is tired and I can only marginally think.
- I'm really out of it writing-wise. It's irritating as fuck but I kneed to get back with it.
- Drawing is coming along well. I think I need to get back to writing though.
- My case worker wants me to go to social rehab in an effort to get me ready to move out. I am utterly terrified.
- We are talking about moving out though which is exciting.
- I want to just curl up in a ball and sleep and hide and not come out again.
- Have not been reading much lately, I think that's probably not helping the writing. I am going to try and do some of that tonight/tomorrow. Probably tomorrow, as I really just want to curl up and not move right now.
- Things, there are things I have in my head, depression things, wordy things, planny thing sna djust...i can't do anything with it because I am so tired and so out of it. Nrrg.

Right, I should just curl up and sleep. That is what I should do.
whatawaytoburn: ([People] Cat)
- It is too hot for legs.
- I am having tea anyway.
- My hair will ideally be blue by the end of the day
- Wrote a blog entry about how much I love A Writer's Prayer, a Neil Gaiman poem.
- I may or may not spend my writing energy on writing Cabin Pressure promptfic
- i bought my first thing at Lush today. Hopefully it will help me get rid of some of the dark splotches on my skin.
- I get Morgan on Friday.
- I got a new sketchbook since my old one had almost no pages left in it.
- My mother also had mechanical pencils hiding, so that was exciting.
- I've acquired graphic novels
- It has been decided that I am in the market for a new bag. Somethimg smaller than Sam, though hopefully still a messenger bag.
- I think that's it.
whatawaytoburn: ([Writing]  Don't ask)
Things I need to do:
- Do tarot readings
- Go through edits.
- Clean my room.
- Start planning for people's gifts.
- Determine what I am doing about Rory.
- Start the 100 things that are not the prompts.
- Make my writing schedule.
- Call the psych doctor

Things to keep doing:
- RP tags
- Read, either print or audio. Try and make it a book I've not read before.
- Keep up 100 prompts
- Keep writing, either for Rainbow or chipping away at Faeverse or something

I think I have managed to fall into a schedule with my sleep which is exciting. I just need to keep it up. I'm coming to the point where I curl up in bed again and sleep for a couple of hours before my mother gets home but I think I am going to try and push through it today in favor of getting some more stuff done.

I really, really need to get something to eat, as I am kind o f starving, but nrrg. All we have is breakfast food and I'm not really in the mood for it. /first world problems.

I may say screw it and curl up and sleep anyway. Sleep would not be bad and I only have one tag left. I can get that done, scuffle off to bed, get up, shower and then get ready to leave the house tonight (oh joy!).

Though, it is for sushi, so it could be worse. At least tasties are involved. That is exciting.
whatawaytoburn: ([Words] Anything get done)
Oh thank everything, I have an empty house. *dances*

This means I might actually get some readings d9ne today and, if I am lucky, get some writing as well.

I have a large cup of coffee, music and I smell lovely. This is, at the very least, progress in that direction. I just need to get started. Mrah. My stomach is slightly angry, so that is not helping. I am waiting for it to chill out a little before I start doing things, as it makes it hard to concentrate on anything when it's twirling itself into knots.

There is still a part of me that wants to curl up in bed, I have to admit but I am trying very hard not to. At oleast the caffeine kicked in, that's helpful.
whatawaytoburn: bella_sol at LJ (pic#3128103)
Things I need to do today/this week:
- Go through my DW tags and reorganize them.
- Do RP tags
- Finish the tarot readings I owe and then consider doing a free Three Card Draw day to thank people for being awesome.
- Go through the edits that have been given to me and make changes.
- Write the Cabin Pressure Exchange fic.
- Write for [community profile] rainbowfic
- Look through the Zombie fest prompts and see if there's anything I want to write.
- Review for [community profile] rainbowfic
- Start planning for people's gifts for being awesome and helping Morgan out.
- Poke my damn ukulele. I've been doing this on and off lately but I'm not really putting in the effort I need to.
- Clean my room. (started, need to finish)
- Make a list of my TBR, at least the next five books in my TBR.
- Make a list of my current reads.

- Determine what I am doing about Rory.
- Figure out if I am doing that 100 Things challenge that's going around. I am sorely tempted but I don't know what I would talk about. If anyone has suggestions, let me know.

This is all assuming my mental health does not go down the drain as it is prone to doing. I would like to accomplish something this week. I just...don't know if it will happen. *laughs* I am doing well so far which is exciting, I just don't know if it will hold out. I guess we'll see.

On the other hand, I have been getting sleep lately, which is a big help in keeping me sane. Now assuming I don't get triggered badly, have a random spike of suck or have something like Molly (who is doing better, in case anyone's wondering), I should be fine.
whatawaytoburn: ([Cityverse] Bridge)
1) We've not gotten mail in two days, I do not know why but it is kind of irritating me.

2) I've been slacking in my reading over at [community profile] rainbowfic. This is sad, as there are some good stories over there.

3) [personal profile] chasethecloudsaway has given me ALL THE PROMPTS! Seriously, all of them. You? Have no prompts, I have them all.

4) Persephone is getting on well, she'[s a sweetie and adorable and loves on me when I need it.

5) I've been needing it a lot lately to keep me sane with this current bout of insomnia. Fuck this insomnia, fuck it hard. My aunt says Benadryl and I am getting close to caving in and buying some, because five hours is the MOST I've gotten unmedicated and that will not do.

6) I love my people, I love them all, I love their oddness, I love their charms, I love the way they shimmer and shine. I love their darkness and I love their light. I love them so, so much.

7) I have a writing hat, there will be pictures at one point but I am lazy and don't want to pull them up now.

8) I either need to get Morgan to start betaing again or find a backup beta. Between posting at [community profile] rainbowfic and the various fanfic that has been being produced, I could really use it. I don't ahve the eyes for catching things and maybe if I used a screen reader I would be better but I don't and I see things how they're supposed to beck, not how they are, so I basically fail at betaing my own stuff.

9) William has been feeding me all day. Rolls and mac and cheese and hot dogs and all manner of food. He got annoyed with me last night and decided to embrace his role of 'Person in our group who makes sure we don't die' and has been making us eateateat to make up for yesterday where all we had was a taco and some cheese.

10) I actually had a last thing I was going to say but I don't remember what it is, so uhm...Zombies are love? No wai8t, I'm not Seanan. cats are love? Words are love? Monsters are love? Books are love3? Lots of things are love, take your pic and run with it.
whatawaytoburn: ([Writing]  At work)
So, I went on Etsy and found myself a writing candle. What this basically means is that it will be a candle that I burn only while writing. I don't know if it will work or not but I thought it was worth a shot.

(This idea originally brought to you by [personal profile] mortalcity, I just happen to think it's nifty.)

I also have an editing candle that I will start burning once I manage to finish something and need help getting through the editing process but I very much feel that is an editing candle and would not work for writing. I don't know how I can explain it but yes, it is.

Anyway, the writing candle is in the shape of a skull and, once i get it, I will be taking a sharpie to it and start writing all over the thing. I don't know what will be written on it yet but things! Then, once I'm done, I will only burn it when I am trying to write.

I wrote something that I put on Tumblr earlier that I am trying to figure out if I want to post here. I feel like the fact that I want to post it means I should and even though I follow a very different crowd of people on here, I should not let myself be censored by my own awkwardness, especially because everyone who's around here knows me, knows who I am and how I identify.

I don't know. *shiftshift* I'm just an awkward cat.

I think there are other things I mean to say I just have no ide3a what they are. I should be reading more, I should be writing more, I should be using the word 'should' less and I can't sleep. That is the summation of my life and no one was surprised.
whatawaytoburn: ([Sanctuary] Helen smiles)
So, I think I am feeling marginally less antisocial. Things aren't great and I'm still painfully low energy b8ut I think I need people right now, I think, I need to curl up with you all, to be around you.

I've been missing the ppeople i care about lately, all of them, and even my friends, my aquaintances, I feel like i should get to know better.

So, I don't know, I guess I'm saying hi to you al again. Hi and welcome and it's a pleausre to see you, be around you, know you are there.

Thank you, I appreciate it, I really do.

Happy holidays to one and aol, I offer good thoughts, sweet dreams, and hopes for the future.
whatawaytoburn: (Default)
Things of note:
- I am in the process of dyeing my hair blue. At the moment it looks lie I murdered a blueberry.
- I have a thread at the Holiday anon love meme
- I am getting a Morgan this weekend.
- I have a boyfriend.
- I am getting him this weekend too.
- I went out on Saturday to a bondage class.
- I am possibly looking for a house, if anyone is interested in moving to Florida and hanging out with me. :D
- I wrote a Sherlock fic that actually got a comment from the person who wrote the song that it was inspired by.
- I need to get back into writing on a regular basis.
- I don't know that I have anything else to say.

And that has been my life.
whatawaytoburn: ([Cats] piano)
I am going to be on my way to California this time tomorrow.

OMGOMGOMG

I slept all afternoon so I wound up staying up all night. i am probably going to try and stay up for the rest of the day and go tot sleep early tonight. Sleep will be good and keep me sane tomorrow. I have to run out of the house to get shoes but that is okay.

Writing is....Mrah. Yeah, we don't talk about it.

I wrote short things though and I managed to email someone i needed to talk to, so I am excited.

I hate networking, I really do.

So yes, I think thats it. Scattered post is scattered but you'll get a more coherent one later.
whatawaytoburn: ([Writing] Non functional)
Progress
NaNo: 9,118
Ni90: 3,497
Other words: 0
Total words this month: 12,615

Randomness:
Caffeine: 4 1/2 cups of coffee.
Procrastination method of the day: Plurk, journaling sites, podcasts, chasing my dog and sleeping.
Music choices: My very small writing playlist. But it got the job done, so I don't care. I need to build it up more but I kind of stumble onto the songs, rather than am able to pick the out from my MASSIVE COLLECTION OF MUSICS.

I got my words in relatively early today and if my brain had not stated to fuck up, I probably could have gotten more. I just....no, my brain stopped working right and I gave in. I'm going to go out tomorrow and see if I can maybe get more words out if I'm at Panera and blasting my music or something. We will see.

I keep feeling bad that my Ni90 doesn't have nearly as many words as my NaNo but then I keep telling myself that its OKAY. That it is the point and I have more than what I actually nejed for Ni90, my brain is just determined to try and stress me out until I cry. *facepalms*

I have a psych doctor appointment tomorrow, so I don;t know how that is going to jive with my writing. Between that and probably doing the most writing on Anthea, assuming I go out, it will be interesting to see if it makes any sort of a difference. I'm hoping it makes a
whatawaytoburn: ([Misc] Books)
I keep trying to get the brain to do things and it's not really working so instead of doing useful thing, I am going to pass along links.

Carina Press is looking for submissions. - I was poking around my network and stumbled across this. I thought I would pass it on, as I know I've got writers on my various lists.

Speaking of writers...

A call for prompts from authors - Every wanted a scene of yours illustrated? Well, here's the chance to offer up something you think would make an awesome illustration. I thought it was kind of neat, at least, so I decided to pass along the link. I'm still trying to decide what I'm going to suggest. I need to poke around my writing and see if I can come up with something.


I am getting better, by the way. I can go through almost an entire day without coughing too much and my sleep is odd but that's mostly due to the fact that I'm still oversleeping.

This week is going to involve a psych appointment, going to Social Security and going to the apartment complex that I've got my eyes on. Two of these things are happening on Friday and then the other stuff is happening...whenever I get around to making the appointment. We shall see.

I've started listening to Gaiman stories; first going through the collected short stories that aren't actually Fragile Things, Smoke And Mirrors. I'm then going to finally listen to Stories because I have not listened to that yet and then....I don't know. We'll see where I wind up going. I might wind up doing American Gods, since I keep meaning to go back and reread it.

And that's all I've got. I keep meaning to make a list of writing pro0jects I need to get done before July but I have yet to actually do it. Maybe I'll give that a shot tomorrow.
whatawaytoburn: ([Writing] Epilogue)
Things that have happened/will happen in my life:
- My comma key broke so I am now going between two computers.
- One of my fics is being podficced for the Awesome Women Podfic Anthology
- I have fallen head over heels for White Collar
- I did my first scene with someone
- I eliminated several places to live on my big list of possibilities
- I talked my mother into taking me driving to look at apartments this weekend
- I am possibly going to the Phoenix Club this weekend.

And that's about it. My life is fairly dull but I am okay with that.

Oh becuase it's that time of the year:
My Valentinr - whatawaytoburn
Get your own valentinr
whatawaytoburn: (TWD: Zombiesssss)
I have chocolate!

I also have strep throat, a chest and ear infection but whatever. That's okay because of chocolate!

I also got Pet Sematary and a toy lightsaber for Three Kings day. It kind of made me smile because I thought I wasn't getting anything this year. I guess, as long as I'm in this house, I get free shit. I'm okay with that.

II need to tackle tags and possibly get caffeine and headache medication. Then I can go ahead and start to actually do something productive. I'm also kind of in the mood for a meme but I don't know what kind. We will see if I do anything depending on if I manage to get any writingthings done.

But yes, I have nothing else of interest, not that this is horribly interesting but y;'know.

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whatawaytoburn: (Default)
Screaming loud enough to turn back the wind.

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