whatawaytoburn: (Default)
Today has sucked, in case it wasn't obvious already. I thought it was going to be a good day and it really, really wasn't. I'm tired but I slept so late that I was not sure I would be able to get sleep until about now, so I am updating and then I am going to bed.

Therapy is going to make me sick in two weeks. I got a psychiatrist recommendation which is good but but my therapsit wants me to call the Lighthouse for the Blind next time i see her and I just...don't know if I can do that. My heart starts picking up and I get twitchy and headachey and ohgodohgodohgod.l.,.. Yeah

I did a bit of drawing today but I *just* figured out how I can take the pictures without them coming out blurry and I just don'[t ahve the energy to take pictures of them all, so you will get those tomorrow.

I did do one drawing today though and I'm really rather fond of it. It's...not exactly how I feel because I don't feel that powerful, to be honest but still, I feel like I'm screaming into the win...

I was screaming loud enough to turn back the wind. )
whatawaytoburn: ([Misc] In the night)
NaNo: 12,821
Ni90: 5,293
Other words: 1,158
Total words this month: 19,272

Caffeine: 2 cups of coffee.
Procrastination method of the day: There wasn't really much procrastinating today. I talked with people a little bit in between sprints but otherwise i was pretty good.
Music choices: Quickmix on Pandora because iTunes was being stupid and I don't know what to do about it. *sigh*OF MUSICS.

Wrote ALL THE THINGS today. All of them. I am proud of me. I might have done this becuase I think I am getting sick but y'know, whatever. I did what I have to do. I don't care.

came out to my psych doctor and that went well which is a very nice thing. And she knew about polyamory! It made me super happy and she thinks Morgan and I are Doin' It Right which, I know I shouldn't need validation but considering my mother things it's just horrible and wrong, makes me really, really happy.

I tried to go hang out at Panera but I got a bad table and I just...was really twitchy going there, so I dind't wind up staying. I need to see if I can find a spot that I cna camp out in that is not the house though, as I would like to write in places that well, are not the house. I may try the sports ba ina couple of days and see how that works. I wish I lived near other places.
whatawaytoburn: ([Writing] Non functional)
NaNo: 9,118
Ni90: 3,497
Other words: 0
Total words this month: 12,615

Caffeine: 4 1/2 cups of coffee.
Procrastination method of the day: Plurk, journaling sites, podcasts, chasing my dog and sleeping.
Music choices: My very small writing playlist. But it got the job done, so I don't care. I need to build it up more but I kind of stumble onto the songs, rather than am able to pick the out from my MASSIVE COLLECTION OF MUSICS.

I got my words in relatively early today and if my brain had not stated to fuck up, I probably could have gotten more. I just....no, my brain stopped working right and I gave in. I'm going to go out tomorrow and see if I can maybe get more words out if I'm at Panera and blasting my music or something. We will see.

I keep feeling bad that my Ni90 doesn't have nearly as many words as my NaNo but then I keep telling myself that its OKAY. That it is the point and I have more than what I actually nejed for Ni90, my brain is just determined to try and stress me out until I cry. *facepalms*

I have a psych doctor appointment tomorrow, so I don;t know how that is going to jive with my writing. Between that and probably doing the most writing on Anthea, assuming I go out, it will be interesting to see if it makes any sort of a difference. I'm hoping it makes a
whatawaytoburn: ([Sanctuary] Helen smiles)
Things that have happened:
- I went to a convention
- It was good.
- I got lots of shinies (there will be pictures of some of them later)
- I got my partner
- I ran around in antlers for two days
- I met lots of people
- I advertized the Illusionists.
- I gave lots of people hugs.
- I accidentally started my NaNo
- I did lots of Illusionists things today that will get a post of their own.
- I got a psych evaluation. Borderline, schizoaffective, depression, impulse control but no anxiety. SOMEHOW. I don't even know.
- I scheduled an appointment with a therapist.
- I got back on Facebook (networking purposes only, I swear).
- I pinned a TARDIS to my hat.

And that it is. There are no pictures becuase I didn't take any. I wasn't really in the place to take pictures this weekend. Although the con was good, I had my spazzy moments that left me...not quite in the right place to work a camera. So yes.
whatawaytoburn: ([Words] Anything get done)
No writing got done because my body basically decided that it has had enough of being functional and proceeded to catch the deathplague again.

This would be fine if I could have just slept through the day but my brain was just awake enough to keep my body from sleeping the while time, so I pretty much wound up curling up in bed and listening to things all day while trying to sum up enough brain to write.

I got one tag done.

Hopefully tomorrow will go better than today. I have a doctor's appointment in the morning and I am going to try to go to bed in a few minutes to see if the combination of sleep meds, sick meds and not moving for several hours will leave me feeling better.

I do not know if it will work but I will cross my fingers.
whatawaytoburn: ([Cats] piano)
So, despite today starting out extremely sucky, there were eleven other people in group therapy and I can function with about six or seven including myself and the therapist, it ended with cake!

Yes, it takes very little to make me happy. Just make me a cake and let it be half decent and I'll be pleased.

It was pumpkin and had a spider on it and was just delightful.

Tomorrow I have to go to see Elizabeth and a new psychiatrist but eh, I'll deal. I'm going to nest in my Celtic myth podcast for now and try and get up enough brain to get writing done. I have new verses, I have new people moving in, I just don't really have much of a brain for words.

It's times like this I wish I had taken up another hobby besides words. I think I might pick up the knitting again and see if doing a little of that and listening to stories for a little while longer won't make my brain behave.
whatawaytoburn: ([Cats] Hugs)
Words: 2571
Words for the week: 4999 (I can't decide if this irritates me or amuses me)
What's been written: Two cast lists and a section of the Spice novel.
Reason for stopping: My brain is just not working tonight. I might try again later but I really don't see anything happening until tomorrow.

Noise quality: Some show my mother is watching and music on random.
Time I woke up: 1:30 PM. I went to sleep at about 8PM the previous day. Yeah, that is definitely oversleep.
Amount of Caffeine had: Three cups of coffee and I'll be getting my fourth when I'm done writing this entry.
Procrastination method of the day: S1 of Buffy.
Things that should be getting done instead of writing: Making a list of foods I need for various recipes.

I slept like all hell last night but I didn't sleep at all the previous night so I guess it balances out. I'm kind of annoyed because the serious oversleep has kind of left me without brain to do much. I'm trying to get it but its failing pretty miserably.

Group went well yesterday,I met a woman who's really sweet, likes cats and clove cigarettes and is generally awesome. She kind of made my Monday. What didn't make my Monday was the fact that I was late coming home and wound up missing my psych appointment. I hate talking to people ont he phone after I've fucked up but luckily my aunt did most of the talking and I just had to decide what day I would do the appointment.

Tomorrow is the psychiatrist, group and, if I'm still in the mood after all the running around, Barnes And Noble. We're also going to try and straighten out the bedroom some but I don't know how well that's going to go. I might just stay up all night getting it straightened but I'm trying to tell myself that's not the best idea.

My bed is exactly where it used to be which...does not entirely sit well with me. I need to move other things around in that room because if I leave it the way it is (a big mess with my bed being the only neat thing) it's going to make me have a breakdown.

My nails are black and orange though, this cheers me up a little bit.
whatawaytoburn: ([Alex] Names of people we'll be together)
I'm going back and forth between writing and poking the internet. I think I have decided that sleep is not going to happen tonight and I'm pretty okay with that.

The psychologist went okay. He wants me to document my thoughts when I'm depressed or anxious which I'm not surprised to hear. I need to remember to actually do it, or at least try.

I haven't been to group this week and I'm not sure if I'm going tomorrow. They've not been showing up and neither Sofu nor myself are sure why. They haven't been calling, so it's not that. I don't know, if they don't come tomorrow, I'm going to try getting in touch with them.

I got bored and made a little tally for myself that I think I'm going to start using tomorrow. It's a writing tally that I'd really like to get into the habit of doing every day. I've been good about writing SOMETHING each day and I think keeping the tally could be fun.

That is one thing I will say, I've been writing each day. I used to not do that. Hell, I would barely write once a week nonetheless once a day. It's been coming pretty easily though, even if it might take me a while to get into the swing of things. I'm not complaining, I just would not mind knowing what changed in my brain patterns.

I should get back to poking at the Spices. I don't think I'm going to write that much for them tonight but I wanted to try and do a little bit before I went to bed just because I would like to work on that a little each day. And I still need to answer prompts over at the other post. That will happen eventually. Probably later tonight or tomorrow.
whatawaytoburn: (Default)
I've failed at updating recently but I am going to try and get back into the swing of it. I really want to try and update once a day as a personal log of what's going on because I know my memory is fail and I'd really like to have something to look back on.

Sol yes, updating every day should happen.

We're going out to buy knitting needles later. Sofu plans on teaching me how to do that tonight. I have no complaints since, at the moment, I can't really do anything else with beading. My aunt is doing her best when it comes to getting materials together but there's so much stuff she needs to clear out of the house that she's just finding hte stuff in bits and pieces.

I've gone online though and gathered up tutorials so I'm pleased about that. Hopefully I'll get the actual supplies in the next few weeks and I can start working on that properly.

Group has been kind of stressful simply because my mental state has not been the greatest. I went yesterday and couldn't manage to stay the entire time because my anxiety kicked in. That...was not thrilling. I wound up walking around the place just waiting to go home and then I didn't mange to get back until about an hour afterward. It was just not the best day.

Today I had to get up and go to a psychologist. I don't mind him, he seems like he'll be vaguely useful and I go back in two weeks. I also see my psychiatrist this next Tuesday and that's not a terrible thing. The meds are doing okay, I'm just sleeping a lot. I went to bed before twelve last night, slept until about seven this morning, came home at ten and then slept until two and I could still take a nap. I know that I need to wait for my body to adjust to the me ds, it's just irritating because my motivation to do things gets switched over to wanting to do nothing but sleep.

And that was a lot of rambling. Sorry. I am going to get some coffee, hop in the shower and then try and tackle my tags before I need to take my drugs for the night. *crosses fingers and hopes for good brain function*

Writing meme day five, six and seven )
whatawaytoburn: (Default)
The sky was pink a few minutes ago and it was lovely I love when the sky takes on those hues in the evening.

My evaluation yesterday went wellish. I'm going to be in group but I don't know how long that lasts. They say that I should at least try it because if not, I'm going to need to find a new way to do transportation if I can't (I'm depending on their getting me to and from my house and they only do that if you're in group sessions. I don't know. Blah).

So yes, that starts up on monday.

I got my beads in yesterday and that was very pleasing. I woke up from a nap to find them on my doorstep and that was really cheering. I keep meaning to pair them with charms, I just never get around to it. I'm probably going to move into the living room in the next couple of days and then do it on the black table, that way i can see everything better (the table I am at now is glass).

And to wrap everything up, a meme that vaguely amuses me because it means I will flail about on camera.

Ask me a question! Any question (or questions, if you're the nosy type! Or maybe give me a request- anything! Within reason, I'll do it/answer it. On camera.
whatawaytoburn: (Default)
So, writing up a listy type entry before my meds kick in.

1) We are not moving! This is a good thing since we had no plan and no real money but now that's not a problem! We need to go renew the lease this week but that's happening on Monday.

2) Saw the psychiatrist and am now on new meds which should hopefully not leave me feeling like I'm going to sink into the couch. So far the only downside I can really find is that my body is TIRED. Like, obscenely so. I'm hoping it's just new med type things but bah, who knows.

3) I've been poking [livejournal.com profile] app_this_plz all day, both advertising for [livejournal.com profile] embassylaments> and looking at games.

4) The embassy did have an open post today. I suggest everyone go over to [livejournal.com profile] embassylamets> and check it out. Maybe we'll be shiny and interesting enough for you to join. Maybe? EH, I can hope.

5) Put in an application for [livejournal.com profile] realityshifted> today, so we'll see how that goes. I haven't written any sot of app in over a year, so I'm kinda nervous. *shiftyshifty*

6) Tomorrow we need to go to the store and hopefully there shall be cookies. Mmm, cookies. We have maple nut icing that I really want to eat with cookies, so I'm really hoping for sweets.

And...I think that's it. I'm pretty sure there were other things but well, another post.


whatawaytoburn: (Default)
Screaming loud enough to turn back the wind.

August 2012

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