whatawaytoburn: ([Misc] Question)
1. What are your feelings about laws in general? Necessary, good, bad? Do you feel that you "respect" laws or you don't care about them?

Law in general can be useful, I think it helps to create barriers that some creatures need to exist. I also think that barriers are meant to be tested and sometimes broken and we, as a society, should allow for that to happen.

2. If the pure energy of Story looked like something, what you think it would look like?

Blood, burning blood.

3. If you could perfectly communicate with any type of non-human creature, what would it be?

I don't know that I would want to communicate with any one kind. I think it would break my hear that I was confined to just that one kind of non=human and it would frustrate me that I can't talk to more because so may creatures have so many interesting things to say.

4. If you could bring one type of mythical creature physically into the world, what would it be?

I'm not sure I would do that to the creature. This world isn't built for them, not really. Humans would probably be afraid and humans are stupid when they're afraid. The creature would have to be in hiding and I don't think that's fair. If I were to bring one creature into the world, I think I would want to be able to change the world too, make it more open and willing to accept that the creatures exist and not want to hurt it in any way.

5. Write a few lines about a mermaid who falls in love with a shark?

She bleeds so se can find her, she cuts her hand on coral and watches the blood mix in the water. Se'll be there soon, be with her and that's all she wants, to swim with hir, to exist around her. She wants to wrap her arms around hir neck and press her cheek to her body.

She wants to feel the power se has, the promise of safety and danger all at once. She wants love and blood and the freedom of swimming on forever.

And when she sees hir coming, sees the approaching figure in the water, she smiles, cutting herself deeper and reveling in the sting.

6. You are turned to the size of a doll. How do you feel about this?

I would be quite pleased, actually. I hate how large I am. I feel awkward and wrong in my body for so many reasons but the size is definitely one of them. I would happily be the size of a doll.

7. If you had to write a book for young children, what do you think you would write about?

Possibility. I would write a book about possibility. I would show them that the world is infinite, I would tell them that they don't have to be just one thing, I would show them the world as it is and as it could be. I would remind them that there is magic and mayhem and marvelous things in the areas around then. I would show them that they don't have to be human, I would show them all the possibilities life has to offer.
whatawaytoburn: ([Cats] piano)
So, something has been weighing on my mind lately. I'm pretty sure that, if my mother shares the same reaction that my aunt does when it comes to the engagement, she's either going to get me out of the house as quickly as she possibly can and then stop talking to me, have a breakdown or try her damnedest to try and keep me dependent on her.

Mostly, it's the first and last one I'm worried about. I can deal with it if she has a breakdown on me and then wants to pretend it never happened. I just don't see my mother going down that road.

What worries me more than anything is the fact that while I did manage to pay my bills and get food and electric last time, it wasn't without her help. She gave me rides to the grocery store (and anywhere else that I needed to go), she helped me out when the electric company fucked up (and when I fucked up too) and she covered all of my doctors appointments and medication.

It scares me to think what I might have to do if I get into a bind this go around because I don't know that going to her is going to be an option.

Mostly what I'm worried about is how I am going to get food and medical attention. The public transit here doesn't get along with me and taxis are expensive but I am not going to have much of a choice, as my aunt has already made it clear how she feels on the matter and well, I'm planning for the worst with my mother. I'm trying to move within walking distance of ta grocery store but that's difficult as they tend to be more expensive and I can't afford it.

Disability has it's limits, I"m afraid and I'm becoming more and more aware of how constraining they are as I try and work this out.. *sighs*

I signed up for food stamps but they only gave me $16. It's at least something but it's not very much and still won't help me get there and back.

I'm working on getting Medicare and Medicaid for my doctors and medicines but they're both giving me the run around and I can't just stop my meds. I've tried doing that with my psych meds and that was not a good idea. I need the eye drops I take to control my glaucoma, even though I am bad about taking them. When I need them, they're there. I go to therapy at least once a month or more if he can fit me in, the eye doctor every six weeks and my psychiatrist every three months. There's no way I'm going to be able to move somewhere that's close to all of them as they're all in opposite ends of town, so the best I can do is try and get something central but that's, once again, tricky because the central point is the more expensive areas of Tampa.

The point here is that money is freaking me out. Money is freaking me out badly.

I've been trying to think of different ways to make money and right now the best ideas I've come up with are crafts. I don't know how to do anything but with books from the library and the internet, I can teach myself. I'm obviously going to have to put in money if I want to make any but until I move out, I can do that and build stock and supplies (the date I set for myself s January-February. The sooner I get out, the better. My mother is...well, if you really want the details, I can give them in comments but she's not the most loving person in the world, we'll just say that).

One of the crafts I'm thinking of doing is cards. Blame the holiday season but I've been playing around with the idea of making cards with little stories on them. The stories would be about a hundred words long, maybe less (or more if you happen or order a bigger sized card) and I would decorate them myself.

People would custom order what they want, tell me the things they liked, tell me colors and shapes and all of that. There would possibly be a small form of some kind, and then I would writ them the piece, send it, and once they approved of the story, make the card itself.

I wouldn't charge a lot, maybe seven dollars a card and ten for the bigger sized ones but it's an idea and one that I could probably learn with relative ease.

So what do you think Is it even worth considering? Should I maybe start working on these along with teaching myself something like crochet or something along those lines (I personally think this is the best option. Get myself a small selection of things I can do an I don't knd then possibly start having an Etsy shop and maybe doing flea markets if I get enough stock). I'm going to the bookstore today, I think, and looking up craft books (I'll go to the library too, I just feel like being able to get coffee today).

I'm really interested in doing the card thing, I think it could be both fun and easy and it would give me an excuse to write, something that I think I would miss with other crafts. I just...Yeah. I don't know. I'm trying to figure out what it is I'm doing with my life and should probably be sleeping instead.

So, opinions Ideas? Offers of craft books or websites? Wanna buy a card? Feel fee to do any of it and maybe pimp this post, as I'd really like the advice and opinions of people who do make money out of crafting.

So uhm...Yes. That's all I've got really. I'm going to go make coffee and see about maybe some kind of breakfast.
whatawaytoburn: ([Coffee] For two)
My night has been made of alcohol, good food, conversation and silliness.

San came by again and is currently crashed on my bed. We purchased a bottle of chocolate wine, made milkshakes out of it and some amaretto she brought along and sat around all night bullshitting. It was truly excellent.

I need to try and get some sleep soon since we'll be trying to wake up at around ten to go to the Goodwill and get clothes but I'm still debating the merits of just not sleeping and resetting my schedule. Of course watch, I'll get the email form Kimi saying that they're going to the club tomorrow night and I'll be totally screwed but I doubt I'll be that unlucky.

We'll see where I am in a half an hour or so. If I'm not tired, I might just push through and use the caffeine pills I acquired earlier to get me through the day. If it looks like I can actually get some sleep then I shall do my best to see to that.

If nothing else, I am going to break in my new big headphones. THey make me happy and are large and lovely and let me hear nothing but muuusic.
whatawaytoburn: ([Misc] Books)
You know, I'll occasionally have these moments where I realize I can be understood through my books. Usually it's when they're all stacked up in front of me but this time around, it was when I was trying to look at what I'm in the middle of reading.

Sex Is Fun: Creative Ideas For Exciting Sex
Celtic Mythology
Unspeakable Horrors: LGBT Horror Anthology

Yeah, right now that kind of sums me up pretty well.

Now I'm sort of tempted to make this a monthly meme. Look at what I'm reading at the end of each month and see what that says about me. I feel like it could be amusing.
whatawaytoburn: ([ASW] I Desire into words)
So, I sort of meant to do this earlier but never did until now for...I don't even know what reason. Anyway, the point is that I think I'm going to be making a sex and gender filter.

There's no particular reason why I really need to do this other than I don't want to bore people more than I already do and I thought I may as well. It's not a subject that comes up that often but it has been known to pass my mind and gender issues have been nagging at me a little bit lately, despite my attempts to ignore it.

I also keep meaning to start the blog but that is a slightly different project, one that will involve more research and plotting and will probably be done on Blogger. It will get linked to if I ever get around to starting it though.
whatawaytoburn: ([Misc] Books)
Prompt me!

I am going through the most irritating state of writers block and I need help breaking it, so I come to you flist! Give me prompts.

If you want my character list it is at your disposal but feel free to just leave random prompts as well.

Alternatively if you want to treat this as the CPR meme, you should feel free to do that too.
whatawaytoburn: ([DW] Amy says what?)
My mother has unexpectedly moved me back into my old bedroom. I can't decide how I feel about this. It's nice to have my own space again, it's nice to have areal bed and it's nice to think I have a door to shut but meh, I don't know.

Tomorrow I am going to move all my stuff back here and hopefully get it straightened the rest of the way. I was supposed to make calls tomorrow but I see this as a good means of procrastination.

I need a table though. That's the only thing that the room is really missing. If I had a proper desk and wasn't using a filing cabinet to put Adelle on, I think I'd be pretty content.`
whatawaytoburn: ([Misc] Question)
Due to my mother's idiocy, we now own a Wii.

(We do not have the MONEY to own a Wii. To top it all off, she's considering buying a huge red TV to match her red Wii. Oh the rants I could go on about my mother and the way she manages her finances.)

Anyway, not the point.

The point is, I now have ea video game console when I n ever did before. What games are fun? I really wouldn't mind getting some use out of it but I don't know what to play. I'm good for all kinds of games, so don't be afrfraid to re me whatever comes to mind.
whatawaytoburn: ([Coffee] For two)
So, I have a job interview in about twelve hours. It's...not a proper interview since I'm meeting the woman at a Target but it's something.

I'm going to possibly be selling her jewelry at flea markets and cons. Assuming this goes well, of course. I'm looking to try and do this with a few different people, so if you happen to know anyone who's looking to expand their market, let me know.

I'm really nervous. I've never done anything like this before and with how dysfunctional my brain is, I'm scared I'm going to forget how to make a good impression. I'm seriously considering having someone else do the interview, or at least be right over the shoulder to catch me if I start fucking up.

The only good thing about this (besides the potential employment) is that I'll be going to Target which means I will probably buy candy, notebooks and assorted other things that are required for NaNo. I might even check out the DVDs and see if they have anything on the cheap.

I'm stillnot sure if I'm going to be sleeping tonight or not. I'm awake and kinda twitchy but I know I should probably sleep in the long run. I suppose we'll see how I feel in the morning.

I'm also considering going to Petco today and seeing if they have any cats. I don't kinow if they will but you never know.

I meant to write tonight, I just never got around to it. Instead I marathoned Angel and fucked around on the NaNo boards.

I should get to making a 'Here's my NaNo journal' post but I'll probably do that after I decide if I'm making journals for all of the stories or if I'm just going to stick to the misc journal for the stuff that isn't Cityverse.

Ho hum, ho hum. Lots to ponder.

I need to make a list of the things I need to acquire while I'm out. I think I'm going to do that after I start this episode.
whatawaytoburn: ([Angels] Broken)
I've been meaning to make a post but I do not have the brain so there will be a list:

- Skipped out on therapy
- Am probably getting sick
- Have an Alex tomorrow
- Have the con tomorrow
- Have much less to do after this weekend.
- Have been nesting in podcasts again
- Considering getting an ereader to try and get back into the habit of reading properly again.
- Have not watched a zombie movie in two days. THis is an accomplishment and will probably change tomorrow
- There are tags in my inbox that need to get done and a post I mean to tag into, I just don't have the brain for them right now.
- Need to go through my bag and clean it out.

And I have no more words. Hopefully there will be sleep pretty soon and tomorrow I will wake up tomorrow and feel better.


whatawaytoburn: (Default)
Screaming loud enough to turn back the wind.

August 2012

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