whatawaytoburn: ([Newsflesh]  Rise up while you can)
1) Not awake yet. I went sleep and I can't get it because A) took my Prozac already and that fucks up my sleep now that I am on more and B) I just can't sleep. I've been awake for an hour.

2) I've been rubbish at commenting, both here and on other people's journals. I'm sorry for that. As you guys can guess, it's been a rough ride this last month or so, but I am working on it.

3) I'm kind of sucking at [community profile] letthesummerin even though I have three months to do what I want and part of the reason it's three months long is so that there is not nearly as much pressure on me to produce something every day. I just....Yeah. I don't know.

4) I am trying to get active in [community profile] beyondtherift again. I think I am going to manage it this time which is exciting.

5) I need to get back to my other blog at some point. And drawing. And other things, I just...brain. My brain has sucked so very hard that it's difficult to do anything.

6) Still reading Blackout by Mira Grant with Morgan. We're having a hard time getting through it because we flail so hard. Still though, we're getting through it and it's been really fun to read along with someone/be read to by another person rather than an audiobook.

7) Speaking of Morgan, I will get them next week. *spins* This is not a bad thing, as I kind of need them right now. I...yeah. Having them will be good and seeing them before I take off to New York will be even better.

8) Have an appointment with my therapist for 1:30 on Tuesday and an appointment with the psychiatrist on Thursday at an unknown time. I think I am going to tell the latter that the pills are making me batshit i8nsane and that I am crashing harder and more frequently than I have in a while.

9) Acquired some games last night. I really want to play Amnesia but it doesn't like Anthea. I enjoy Limbo though and Vincent is trying to get me to play Bastion really, really hard. It's kind of amusing. I will probably cave in at some point today to try and entertain myself for a few hours and give myself something to do.

10) Caffeine is love.
whatawaytoburn: ([Sherlock] Jim and Molly)
So, Morgan, the person I am engaged to and adore utterly, just switched their journal. One of the things they are trying to do is get more friends and talk to people.

I want to help.

So, if you don't mind please, go over here and read their intro post and see if they don't seem like a person you might get along with. If so friend them and chat!

I know this seems slightly odd but I know a lot of good, awesome people who have helped them out before and in general, are rather brilliant, so I thought I would put this up and see if anyone will go look.
whatawaytoburn: ([Writing]  At work)
Just letting people know I am still alive, despite having dropped off the face of the Earth for a week. Morgan was here and I am prone to doing such things when I get them.

Things will return to their normal times shortly, I'm just trying to feel my way around having the room to myself again and all of that stuff. Hopefully there will be writing tonight but we will see. At the very least, i have the house to myself, so that is promising.

Did I miss anything good while I was away? Tell me all the interesting things that have happened to you this week.
whatawaytoburn: (Default)
Still alive. It's been....an interesting few days. Not great, not functioning really but I have had people in my life who make it so much better.

The internet is not a great place for me to be right now, I don't know. It makes m y brain ache and I start stressing out over everything I am supposed to be doing. I just wish I could have Morgan and Skittles and be happy.

On the other hand, we went on adventure today and a low speed car chase yesterday. So yeah, not everything is bad. Oh, and candy. Al the candy.
whatawaytoburn: ([Cityverse] Bridge)
So I kind of up and abandoned everything for three days when Morgan showed up. I really don't mean to do that whenever I get them but I kind of can't help it. *laughs* I am....a bit sad like that.

I am going to go to the doctor on Monday and I have nothing to really do until then. I feel like I do but no, I really don't.

I need to start working on my stuff that I want to get done but y'know. We'll see.

I thought I had more to say but no, I really don't. I have tasty ice cream, I have cookie dough, I have an umbrella coming in, and a book.

So yes, I am going to wander off and just....yes.
whatawaytoburn: ([WC] Peter and Elizabeth)
So, I've mentioned that I'm working on the Faefic, a White Collar fic that involves Peter, Neal, Elizabeth and lots and lots of faeries. It is going to be kind of epic (probably over 15k) and that's putting in scenes that need to be in there and general fixing up.

Anyway, I'm going to start the process soon. I'm still in the research period right now but I'm going to start organizing scenes again soon and start editing them. I was wondering if there was anyone who would be willing to beta them as I work through all of this?

It should be noted that I'm not writing the entire story [personal profile] chasethecloudsaway will be working on it as well, she's taking care of all of Peter's scenes and anything related to Diana, but I'm only asking on behalf of what I'm writing because I don't know if she would be interested in this. I just know that I would like a few extra pairs of eyes on the bits ad pieces that I'm working on.
whatawaytoburn: ([Cats] TIltycat)
So I got a reference book on superstitions in the mail today (yes, Morgan, it's the one we saw at the bookstore. Fount it for supercheap on Amazon. God, I love the internet) and it kind of got me wondering.

What are your favorite superstitions from around the world?

I'd share my own but I'm not really well versed in them. My family has their own small traits but they aren't really superstitions. Anyway, I thought it would be an interesting question, as I remember one night where Morgan and I stayed up all night and pretty late into the day reading about all manner of superstitions and we foudn them fascinating.

So yes, superstitions. Tell me about them. Which ones do you like, which ones make you just facepalm. Which ones do you personally follow and which ones do you like the idea of but can't actually buy into.

....Hm, that got more in depth than I intended.

Alternatively, if you're lazy and just want to help me try and get something written, pick a number between 1 and 294 and earn yourself a random drabble on one fo the many superstitions within my new shiny book.
whatawaytoburn: ([ASW] I Desire into words)
Okay, so I have two announcements.

The first is that I am engaged! Yes, that's right, I did it! I babbled my way through it in the cold with no jacket, over the phone, when we had only a short time to talk but I did it!

I am a gleeful idiot right now. I am an engaged gleeful idiot.

I get to look for rings! And tell people! And be engaged!

Guys? I am in love. I am wrapped up in something amazing and I want to spend the rest of my life feeling this way and I'm going to get to do that! How fucking lucky does that make me?

People strive for what I am lucky enough to have. People make movies and write songs and books about it. They kill for it. I didn't have to do any of that.

Sure, there might be blood once my family finds out but that's a different matter entirely.

The point is, I'm blessed. I am honest to everything blessed to have this person in my life and now I get to say that it's going to happen forever. I don't know what the hell it is that I did to be this lucky but I hope I keep doing it.

I love you, dear, I love you more than everything and thank you so, so much for accepting me as yours.

But that's not my only announcement.

Although it has come up with at least one person before, I've expressed a dissatisfaction with my name for years and years. I never did internet handles, so I've always just been Nina.
But I don't want to be her. I'm going to quote myself because I think I said it best when I was talking about the matter earlier.

"I liked Charlotte Tam as a name. It made me smile and I like the implications of the two of us sharing the same last name and just...I like all that but something I think I'm really starting to notice? Charlotte is a person I like more. She's comfortable with exploring kink and her sexuality, she's comfortable with the fact that she's not the only person in her head and is okay with telling other people that. She's okay with not always being a her. Nina is....her mother's daughter. She's the scared, anxious girl who goes in and out of hospitals. The implications of being Nina kind of suck. The implications of being Charlotte or even Charley? Are becoming more and more comfortable."

So, because the past few months have been me getting to know myself, I've decided to stop going by Nina and start going by Charlotte. Any variation of the name is fine, though I'll likely go with Charley myself (especially when I'm feeling fluid or more male) . I understand that people switching names at random is kind of whiplashy on the people who've known them for several years, so if you still call me Nina that's fine. I'm just not going to be using it anymore as my main name.

And now I think I'm done. I guess if you have any questions or anything, feel free to poke me, though I have no idea what questions you would have. XD
whatawaytoburn: (DW: HappyDonna!)
My night has been filled with Alex vidding, articles, fic, QI, hidden object games and making the valiant attempt at tags.

All in all? Not a terrible night by any standard, despite the fact that the tags are giving me more trouble than I'd like. They will get done though, I am determined.

By the by, if I finish this fic would anyone like to look it over (besides Alex who I'm sure will because she loves me and is wonderful). It's Lucy/Fobwatched!Master and for [community profile] kink_bingo. Yeah, I...have no idea what I was thinking when I signed up for it but I am determined to at least get one fic written if not a card.

Anyway, that's not the point here, the point is memes!

I put one of these up at the embassy because I thought it would be fun but for posterity's sake, it goes up on my journal as well.

1. Go to my Character List.
2. Pick a character. (You can pick more than one, and you can pick one that someone already has chosen and I'd ramble about something else. You can also pick a verse to get a general babble, if you'd like one of those instead).
3. I will ramble until there's no tomorrow about said character.
4. If you'd like, after knowing more about the character, throw a character or a prompt at them.
5. Dance.
whatawaytoburn: (Misc: Writing)
So, I am in the process of dying my hair and feeding myself. I wasn't actually planning to dye it but Sofu was willing to drive me to Walgreens after I helped her deliver some mail and well, here I am.

As for food...food is tasty.

Alex should be coming home soon and then tomorrow we are off to go cosmic bowling with my family for a birthday. *shrug* It should be...something.

I am still trying to write my damn fic for [livejournal.com profile] lgbtfest but my brain keeps going to [community profile] kink_bingo and coming up with random things I want to do for it. I keep meaning to copy down my card and make notes for what I want to do but I keep failing at that.

I think, after I am done with my hair and have consumed food and I am not too tired, I'm going to try and plug away at fic again. I had actually started early yesterday but then my computer twitched and I lost everything I had done. It kinda puts me off working on it but I want to finish, damnit!

My food is boiling, I should go tend to that instead of talking about nothing that interesting on journals. *toddles off*
whatawaytoburn: (Misc: Everyone needs a Beatles icon)
Fun quote of the day.

[In the middle of a longer discussion on headvoices and mental health professionals assigning them to various parts of my psyche.]

Me: So, what's Eleanor Rigby?
Alex: The music in your soul.
Me: ....What are the Drums?
Alex: The other half of the music in your soul!

Besides that I have nothing of real interest to report. I went to Ybor on Saturday and that was fun. There was a music festival going on and they were playing things that made us happy.

I did, however, manage to sprain my ankle Saturday night. As you can imagine, this is not as happy-making. I'm doing okay, though the skin around the swelling is giving me a bit of trouble. Sofu's coming by later tonight with ace bandages and a nice blanket for me, so I suppose things could be worse.

Also, the storm that's been going in and out all day has made things much better than they could be.

I have a boatload of tags that need to be done, more writing that I should do and various other things but for the next few days, I predict that I shall be existing on the couch or the floor watching things or zoning out to music. We shall see though. If I get pain meds, then there's half a chance I will be up and about.

But yes, that's about all. I shall...I don't know, go off and consider food. Food sounds like a good plan
whatawaytoburn: (DW: Stimulants are where it's at)
So, today has been...something. Definitely not bad just sort of amusing ad odd. I have no idea when it got to be so late but it certainly doesn't feel like five-thirty.

Oh! Alex finished her fanmix! I am proud and far too amused at the same time.

Ordering pizza under the name of Saxon still has not lost it's charm. yes, we caved and ordered pizza instead of cooking. Lazy girls are lazy, so what?

I also bought a pair of earrings today. They are quite lovely and I look forward to getting them.

There was also a pimping post for the Embassy! This technically doesn't need to be linked but I'm feeling link happy right now, so clearly it must be done!

Also, hot cocoa, at one point or another, became retcon. I feel that this statement sums up my day pretty well. *nod*

I am going to switch the DVD and then try and be a productive member of the internet. Either that or continue to straighten various things. One or the other.
whatawaytoburn: (Default)
Things what are pleasing:
- my girlfriend. (Who probably makes me pathetically happy but fuck if I care. She is a brilliant being, she is.)
- the fact that I have managed to type this much without anything happening to my text.
- The fact that my brain is no more physically screwed up than it has ever been
- Sleep.
- My aunt's fascination with ThinkGeek.
0 Cafes with tasty food and nice people.
0 The fact that, despite my attempts to write posts (and tags for that matter) failing miserably, it has had little to do with the fact that I've been in the wrong state of mind. (Hurrah for outside influences?)
- My mother being mostly tolerable.
- We have everything to make brownies whenever I feel up to it.

Things what are not pleasing:
- Waking up with a headache and not three minutes after, having something fall into my eye and being unable to flush it out.
- Doctors, especially neurologists but really, doctors in general.
- The fact that, because he has no battery at the moment, I can't unplug him. This has happened and I have lost tags/posts multiple times today.
- The bits of my mother that are not tolerable, even now.
- My own occasional fail. (Had to look over something before the neurologist and really would have been better looking at it while I was still at home).

There are other things that belong on these lists but I am still not awake. I am going to attempt to stay in the world of the conscious and hopefully get though some tags/do some productive Embassy stuff then....Meh, I don't know. Things. Useful things and if not useful tan at least interesting. The words are interchangeable to me at this point.
whatawaytoburn: (Default)
Okay, so remember the health issues and and hospital thing? Well yes, it's left my legs a bit fucked up and I've found myself using a cane for a while.

So, clearly that means I need to name it.

It's a light bronze and brown and fairly light and uhm....My brain is short\ circuiting but the point is I need a name and I a failing miserably at coming up with one.

So, I come to you friends list, asking for help because if not, I'm doomed to never use it and Alex will be the one to suffer (she's stuck lending me support now and god knows she's doing enough for me as it is).

Actually, I'm going to go ahead and also take the moment to announce yet again that my girlfriend is astounding. I know I did it recently and I know stuff like this can get irritating but such things need stating. She's been wonderful to me, bloody fucking wonderful and I am lucky to have her.

There, not as long as last time but still said. And will continue to be said. Someone, somewhere will eventually want to hit e, I suspect but I'm okay with that.
whatawaytoburn: (Default)
I love my girlfriend.

I don't do love filled posts that often but I'm doing it now.

This week has been hell, I've been in the hospital (were not talking about it), everyone's been stressed, I'...Kind of fucked up mentally and physically right now but Alex has been nothing but the best.

She's a treasure you guys, an honest to goodness treasure who is taking wonderful care of me and dealing with shit and doing it all with a surprising amount of grace.

At least this is how I feel.

San too, deserves love, for what I hear she's doing a lot for us right now but this is nothing new.

I will always and forever be lucky to know the people I know.
whatawaytoburn: (Default)
So, after accidentally staying up for way longer than I meant to, I find myself here, utterly exhausted and needing to get out of the house in an hour. Not terrible considering all I need to do is wash up, I would have just liked a bit more time to gather my wits about me.

The cat curled up with me in bed last night. I love when the cold drives him to such measures.

Alex comes home in a few hours. Granted, she wasn't gone terribly long this time but that is still pleasing.

I should stop putting off getting ready, I'm just in no mood for a shower. Coffee might help with that though, I should invest in copious amounts of coffee.
whatawaytoburn: (DW: Stimulants are where it's at)
My plans for the day:
Start the laundry
Get lunch
Go to school and get classes resolved
Start doing the cast lists for [livejournal.com profile] chaos_thon
Possibly look through [livejournal.com profile] comment_fic and bookmark prompts.
Enjoy the fact that my girlfriend is finally going to be home.

Alex is going to be home at 2, Sofu is picking me up at 3 and if I'm lucky, I should be home before 6.

My back is pretty bad today, not too sure why. I'm going to see if the warm water helps and if not, I'm going to need to edit the list above to add 'use the massage thing for half an hour and see if it helps'.

I also need to track down my magnifier. I have managed to lose the damn thing in less than twenty four hours. Hopefully it's at Sofu's and if not? Well, I'm not going to think about if not. I'd rather not have to purchase yet another one.


Dec. 4th, 2009 06:23 am
whatawaytoburn: (Default)
After conversing with [livejournal.com profile] allaroughdraft a few days ago and [livejournal.com profile] dreamingofmab tonight, I have come to the conclusion that there needs to be something in my life.

A post.

A party post.

So, I present to you!

The holiday post of fun and silly and awesome!

Come! Spam! Give me good things to wake up to!
whatawaytoburn: (Default)
So, Alex is gone until Monday and I'm spending time with my family. Oh happy day is this. Luckily I should only have to spend the night tonight, which y'know, considering my aunt is going to be giving us cookware, that's not going to be too dreadful.

In other news, I got fourteen invites to Google Wave, if anyone would like to grab one...

And now I am going to go try and get some sleep.
whatawaytoburn: (Text: And I am yours)
Si, I'm sitting here at 6:30 in the morning drinking coffee. I haven't really slept yet, I'm watching the sun rise and my girlfriend is on our couch reading about sex.

We were standing outside earlier and just talking. Talking about this time last year and the season, when the sun was going to be rising for the rest of the year and our plans for the week.

We talked about all the things that are ours.

We talked about the things we need to do together before we die.

We talked about dead plants

I'm not sure when or how it happened but I think I'm getting sharing a life.


whatawaytoburn: (Default)
Screaming loud enough to turn back the wind.

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