whatawaytoburn: ([Writing] Non functional)
So, I have ben struggling a lot the past few days. I don't know why, I'm not sure if it's my meds or what but I've not managed to get out an entry or any sort of writing, despite really wanting to do both.

I am counting down the days until I leave, I really am. My mother is...not insufferable at the moment but she makes me amazingly uncomfortable with some of her comments sometimes.

I'm itching to draw again, which I think I might do o9n and off today.

My sleep schedule is still off but I don't care. I slept pretty much the entire day yesterday, waking up and not really getting out of bed until 9 PM and then going back to sleep at 11. I know, I know it's depression but nrrrg.

I'm going to try and do the writing meme after this post, or possibly later today, I'm not usre yet. The point is, I will try.

I know i have things to say, my brain is just not giving them to me. That's how life has been lately, having the desire for words and not quite having the energy for them.

I'm going to the psych doctor at 1 though, so y'know, I'll bring it up to her and we'll talk and it will be....something.

Maybe I will wander onto Tumblr and try and write a little off of there. I don't know.

I'm just out of fsorts today, don't mind me.
whatawaytoburn: ([Angels] We have wings)
Two things:

1) I'm doing a prompt call. Leave me prompts and I will write you stories. When I have completed your tale, I'[ll post it and give you the option to donate a tip but you don't have to if you don't want to/don't have the money. Don't feel obligated. I will also do trades for crafts/tarot readings/drawings or anything else you want to barter with.

2) I'm thinking of starting another blog. I have a writing blog on Wordpress that I update sporadically but this is going to be different.

This is going to be a blog on positivity.

I'm going to try and write a NaNo novel's worth of words on pos9itive things. Thyings that make me happy, things that are good, things that are cheering. Just....awesome good, brilliant, lovely things. Some of them might come in the form of happy stories, some of them might come in 100 word babbles, some of them might be anything else entirely.

So yes. That is what I am doing. Feel free to either leave prompts, tell me things that make you happy, and pass the word along on both the prompts and the blog as I would love people fo9llowing it.
whatawaytoburn: ([Misc] Books and warm liquids)
So, I'm starting the 30 Days Of Your (Current) Project meme because I've been meaning to and I figure why not?

So let's start off with day one, shall we?

What's the project's name? How did you pick it?

And The Devil Makes Three. It was chosen because, when I first started the project, I thought it was going to be focused around a smaller cast, two of which were angels and one of which was a criminal on the side. It seemed appropriate.

Then the cast grew and grew and the focus shifted to a more ensemble type thing and now I'm not usre if I would keep the name but I really do like it for the verse all the same, so I probably will.
whatawaytoburn: ([Misc[ Save Yourself)
Note: Okay, I don't do poetry much and there's a reason for that but this little thing wanted to come out in poetry form, so well, here you are. I really hope no one minds and can pardon my questionable slinging of words.

We save ourselves, we save ourselves.
We save ourselves each day.
We save ourselves, we save ourselves
\In a thousand tiny ways.

Lost girls and broken girls.
Strange boys and ghost boys.
Lost girls and broken girls
And other people’s toys.

We save ourselves, we save ourselves
We don’t need you to rise.
We save ourselves, we save ourselves
We get to our feet, not one of us dies.

And this is the story of a lost girl
And this is the story of a lost boy
And this is the story of all the ways they learned to survive.
And this is the story of how they grew to thrive.

Lost girls and broken girls
Strange boys and ghost boys
Lost girls and broken girls
All of them learning how to make noise

We save ourselves, we save ourselves.
In such unlikely ways.
We save ourselves, we save ourselves.
And we will see the ened of days.

The end of the story is on it’s way.
And none of us will get a say
But we will tell the story.
Of the lost kids and their glory.

We save ourselves, we save ourselves.
Until the end of time.
We save ourselves, we save ourselves.
And no, it’s not a crime.

Lost girls and broken girls.
Strange boys and ghost boys.
Walking after the world is done.
Proving they are the ones that really won.

We save ourselves, we save ourselves.
We saw it through until the end.
We save ourselves, we save ourselves.
And now we wait to see what’s around the bend.
whatawaytoburn: ([Misc] Through the woods)
So, I sort of want an identity-centric commentfest. I want fic about people who identify outside of the cis, straight, neurotypical, human whatever. The norm. I want a commentfest about ALL THE IDENTITIES!

I don't know why, it would just make me happy.

Does anyone want to run this for me? Or am I going to have to do it myself?
whatawaytoburn: ([DaS] Dance)
With reckless abandon.

I’ve always loved that phrase, loved the way it sounds, loved the way it feels when you say it. It feels like what it means, to cast away everything holding you back and run, dance, sing, play, do whatever it is that you want to do.

It’s what I want in my life and in my writing. I want to throw away all the ideas that hold me back, I want to shed the constraints I put on myself. I try and put myself on a rigid schedule but I don’t know if i am made for it, I think I might be made of different stuff.

I think I need to write with reckless abandon, I need to9 tell the stories as they come to me, I need to work with whoever wants to work with me and cast off whoever is being stubborn. That’s not to say I shouldn’t abandon a story when it gets hard but I think, and I could be wrong, but I think I’m trying to be a ‘real’[ writer when I need to be a real storyteller instead.

So that’s what I am going to do, I am planning to tell my storie with reckless abandon, I’m going to post them where I want and let other people see them. I am going to craft and create and make and do what I want with the words in my head and maybe it will get me somewhere one day and maybe it won’t.

But I’ll not have regrets with what I’ve done and that? Is a hell of a lot better than most people can say.
whatawaytoburn: ([Words] Won't sleep for days)
Things I am doing today:
- Getting to prompts on various posts, assuming my brain lets me.
- Taking a nap
- Reading
- Trying to figure out what I am doing about the Thirty Days project.
- Laundry
- Cleaning up the room a bit.
- Sorting through music.
- starting to get clothes together for New Yo9rk.
- Tags.

So yes, that is my plan for the day. I don't feel the driving need to get most of this tackled except for the reading and writing because I think it is important to have that in my life every day I can but beyond that....yeah.

I need to start using [community profile] bringmetotheharvest but the only fic I've been writing has been for verses that already have comms of their own or fanfiction. I'm doing a set of various characters coming in and out of Wonderland but yeah, not very useful towards anything original.

I need to get back to writing for the prompts on the prompt post, I'm just slow at it, same thing goes for [community profile] rainbowfic I'm considering putting up my open lists on there and asking if anyone has any requests. I'm not sure.

I've not been lacking in ideas for stuff to work on, at least. I feel like I'm adding to my to-write list every day, whether that's fanfiction or original fiction. Writing is writing to me and I very much look at fanfic as honing my skills rather than being a waste of my time or any such thing.

Anyway, I think that's all I've got in me right now. Perhaps there will be prompts later, we will see. Or I will put up those lists and ask if anyone has requests.
whatawaytoburn: ([Misc] Question)
So, I think I might blend the thirty days of writing meme with the one that is about one particular project. The thing is, I'm not sure if I want to type out my answers or do an audio recording and put that up instead.

If I did the audio, would anyone be interested or should I just do the typed out version?
whatawaytoburn: ([RTofD] Roadtrip icon!)
Notes: [personal profile] roadtripofthedamned-verse. I really need to determine what I am doing with these letters and snippets. Put them together, obviously but because they're broken up and so small, I feel odd doing it.

I'll....I don't know. Do something with them. I love the crew though, even if i still have little to no idea what the fuck I am doing with the plot other than 'They go on a road trip, they set free saints trapped in human shells. They make it to the Jamboreee, Winter gets a place to fit in'.

There are no guidebooks on how to mourn for yourself, there's no Chicken Soup For the Recently Deceased Soul.

There's no direction, no help, no nothing. You're left scrambling and scraping by, praying to whatever the fuck might be out there that you're doing things right and someone won't come and shoot you in the face because of what you are.

I thought being genderqueer was hard. This is worse.

I stole a book today, a blank notebook to write3 down,...whatever comes into my head. I'm probably going to lose it but I don't care. I feel like i need to write it down, work it out. Do something with the thoughts in my head, otherwise my brain is going to explode.

I need someone to tell me what to do, someone to tell me how to feel, because I am so, so lo9st right now. I'm confused and I'm tired and I'm dirty and I'm lost.

I go to sleep at night, wherever the hell I can find a place to sleep, and I have to tell myself that I am allowed to be here, that somewhere, Death isn't pitching a fit because I'm not in his hands anymore.

But then again, maybe it doesn't matter. Maybe Death doesn't give two shits about me and I'm giving myself too much credit. I don't even know.

All I know is that I'm confused, I'm scared, and as much as I don't want my story to end, I think it was supposed to in an alley not far away from here, with blood and pain and more hatred than I know what to do with.
whatawaytoburn: ([Writing] The AU icon)
Ask me about stories.

Ask me about my theme,s about the things I love, about why I write, about how I write, about when I write, about what I want to write but haven't yet.

Ask me about my verses. Ask me about how they work, what myths and legends are there, how do I worldbuild, what do I outline in each verse, what do I wish i was better at, what am I most interested in?

Just ask me questions and, if you want to know about what I am working on, let me know, as none of the things that are currently on my docket have been listed around here besides THe Devil Mkaes THree and A Bargain Must Be Made.
whatawaytoburn: ([Angels]  In the city)
I know i should do a real update but this matters more.

A friend of mine who lives in the LA area neds a place for this dog to stay for a while. he's looking for a place to live but wvarious things are getting in his way and if something doens't happen with the dog soon, he's going to have to give her up.

None of us really want that for him.

So, i was wondering if there was anyone around the area that might be able to help out and take her in for a while until Ryan gets settled.
whatawaytoburn: ([Misc] In the night)
I am doing better than I was this morning. A few more hours of sleep helped out a lot on that end. I'm still....not very happy with my situation but yeah. I don't know. We will see.

Morgan is coming over tomorrow, so I expect that will make things better. If we're lucky, I am going to be spending a lot of time with them this next couple of weeks and then, I'll be off to New York in July and that will...yes. Save me a lot of stress for at least a month.

Hoping to get some writing done today, I'm not sure it's going to happen but I can be an optimist.

I'm also feeling kind of chatty right now, I don't know why, so if you've ever wanted to poke me for any reason or to just say hi, my AIM is livelifeinflame and my skype is whatawaytoburn. I have other messenger systems too, if you'd like to poke me through those but those are the main two I use.
whatawaytoburn: ([SHerlockj]  All the work)
First off, my link from yesterday is fixed. Go poke and help Silver out, if you can. Thank you, thank you.

Second, it's been a while since I did this but here, have a writi8ng meme (or rather, a few of them).

Stolen from [personal profile] thelinesoflearning

A. Comment with two characters (and optionally a prompt word), and I'll tell you about their first kiss in a drabble.

B. Everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something, and has lost something.
Give me a name and I will tell you what that person is afraid of, loves, and has lost.

C. Give me the title of a story I've never written and feedback telling me what you liked best about it, and I will tell you any of: the first sentence, the last sentence, the thing that made me want to write it, the biggest problem I had while writing it, why it almost never got posted, the scene that hit the cutting room floor but that I wish I'd been able to salvage, or something else that I want readers to know.

Fandoms: Cabin Pressure, Sherlock (BBC), Sanctuary (All but S4), Newsflesh (No Blackout spoilers), October Daye series, White Collar, Slings & Arrows, Dead Like Me,
Also, anyone off of my cast list or any of my original verses and if there's something that I'm not listing that you know if, that's up for poking too.
whatawaytoburn: (Default)
A dear, dear friend of mine is looking for work. They have all manner of skills and are looking for any type of work they can do over the internet.

Some thing that are mentioned:
- Writing
- Researching
- Editing
- Doing simple edits for video/audio
- Setting up simple web pages
- putting togethr ePubs.

Prices will be negotiated depending on the work at hand.

Please, please, please, spread the word.
whatawaytoburn: ([Writing] Builod you in words)
So, I'm in the 'ideas are cheap' category of thought. Not that I think ideas are worthless, I just think there are so many of them out there. It's sad how many times I f8ind myself going onto Plurk or talking to my friends and then coming up with a random story idea that I'd like to see written.

And maybe that's what it is. It's not that ideas are cheap, it's not even that there are so many stories to be told that haven't been written yet, it's just that i love stories and I love the themes and ideas that I love, so it's easy for me to think of things that I want to see done with them.

If anyone knows me/has been around this journal for a while, they've seen the Giant List Of Stories To be Done. That keeps getting added to, there's not a month that goes by that I don't add something to the list, whether it's a piece of fanfiction (and yes, I am counting fanfiction because I find it good practice to help me flesh out themes and ideas I may want to later write in original fiction) or original fiction.

Right now I am staring at three ideas that I want to write, all of which have come to me since I came home and there's a fourth that came to mind just this morning. I'm not saying all of these ideas are great ones, I'm not saying that I'm striking go9ld every time, I just....it's curious to me how many stories I want to tell.

And that's not counting all the stories I do off of prompts. Of course a lot of those tend to be in verses already established but the ones that aren't usually come straight off of the prompt and have nothing to do with anything else. Sometimes they make their own verse, sometimes they don't but still

And I don't know, that's been my reflections on ideas. Not very interesting but I thought I'd share since it was on my mind.
whatawaytoburn: ([Cityverse] Bridge)
So, I've talked to Morgan about this and I am getting in contact with someone who's done this as their business model but I was thinking.

As much as I would love to get paid for my stories, I just want people reading them. I know that kind of defeats the purpose of being a 'professional' writer but I know that, while I was writing on Tumblr and people were reading those stories, I was really, really damn happy. It made me smile and feel like I should be writing more. It was motivation and I liked it.

That isn't to say that I don't eventually want to get paid for my work, I definitely want that but right now? Right now I just want to know that people are reading, I want people to have my stories in their heads and in their hearts.

It's why I keep trying to chip away at the Illusionists and why the 100 prompts are not lo9cked or anything. I just want people reading. I want them to see what I'm creating and I want them to connect with it.

Maybe it's not ambitious enough, maybe I should be shooting to get published or self publish or something like that but I don't know, I just want to be able to tell stories and have people find them and enjoy them.

So I'm doing some exploration. I'm looking at podcasting my short fiction (after it gets cleaned up, of course) and I'm thinking of maybe either crowdfunding novels or just trying to put them out there via Wordpress or Dreamwidth or something.

I emailed someone who's been doing this a lot longer than me, basically building their business model off of giving things away, and I am hoping nthat she may have some other insights that I need to think about/things I should work on but we will see. I'm hoping for the best.

So yeah, those are my thoughts on writing for the day. Blame the fact that I have been thinking about Life In General as of late and what I'm doing and I've been doing it on three hours of sleep.
whatawaytoburn: ([Newsflesh]  Rise up while you can)
1) Not awake yet. I went sleep and I can't get it because A) took my Prozac already and that fucks up my sleep now that I am on more and B) I just can't sleep. I've been awake for an hour.

2) I've been rubbish at commenting, both here and on other people's journals. I'm sorry for that. As you guys can guess, it's been a rough ride this last month or so, but I am working on it.

3) I'm kind of sucking at [community profile] letthesummerin even though I have three months to do what I want and part of the reason it's three months long is so that there is not nearly as much pressure on me to produce something every day. I just....Yeah. I don't know.

4) I am trying to get active in [community profile] beyondtherift again. I think I am going to manage it this time which is exciting.

5) I need to get back to my other blog at some point. And drawing. And other things, I just...brain. My brain has sucked so very hard that it's difficult to do anything.

6) Still reading Blackout by Mira Grant with Morgan. We're having a hard time getting through it because we flail so hard. Still though, we're getting through it and it's been really fun to read along with someone/be read to by another person rather than an audiobook.

7) Speaking of Morgan, I will get them next week. *spins* This is not a bad thing, as I kind of need them right now. I...yeah. Having them will be good and seeing them before I take off to New York will be even better.

8) Have an appointment with my therapist for 1:30 on Tuesday and an appointment with the psychiatrist on Thursday at an unknown time. I think I am going to tell the latter that the pills are making me batshit i8nsane and that I am crashing harder and more frequently than I have in a while.

9) Acquired some games last night. I really want to play Amnesia but it doesn't like Anthea. I enjoy Limbo though and Vincent is trying to get me to play Bastion really, really hard. It's kind of amusing. I will probably cave in at some point today to try and entertain myself for a few hours and give myself something to do.

10) Caffeine is love.


whatawaytoburn: (Default)
Screaming loud enough to turn back the wind.

August 2012

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